The Academy Award Goes to…. Karens Column October 2021

One breakfast topic guaranteed to be controversial, and that demonstrates you can’t appeal to everyone, is the great baked bean debate.

One question guaranteed to get my hackles up at breakfast is when a guest asks  “What have you got planned for the day?”.  Though that’s slightly better than  “So what do you do for a living?”

“Oh, I’m off to a 2 hour lunch with friends and then an afternoon at the spa, whilst the cleaning fairy does 5 hours of cleaning, 1 hour of shopping, 2 hours of ironing and 2 hours of baking.”

I’m never entirely sure what they want to hear.

“Oh, I’m off to a 2 hour lunch with friends and then an afternoon at the spa, whilst the cleaning fairy does 5 hours of cleaning, 1 hour of shopping, 2 hours of ironing and 2 hours of baking.”

I suppose it’s a compliment in a way. They see you as the swan gliding smoothly through the water, without being aware of the frantic paddling underneath just to stay afloat.

Being the calm, collected B&B landlady is a performance. And most guests don’t really want to know about the sweat and tears that go into getting everything just perfect.

There was the day the power went out just before breakfast. I have  a gas hob, so it wasn’t a complete disaster. But having to get out 6 different breakfast specials, including having to do hollandaise “the proper way”,  all for 9am, did reduce me to a crying, sweating ( and yes – swearing ) wreck.

It was also winter and the hob is in a dark corner or the kitchen, so it was all done by candlelight.

The guests left a review saying “Despite the power going out just before breakfast, Karen produced a magnificent  feast and remained calm and collected throughout” Another Academy Award to add to my collection.

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