The Hotel Inspector

When I get a call from a single person, wanting to stay one night “on business”.

I’ve always known it’s the Hotel Inspector. I get no business guests – someone turning up wearing a suit, carrying a briefcase has always been a giveaway.

But I played along anyway…

His last visit didn’t get off to a great start. I don’t take one night stays and there was a bit of a tussle over that before I gave in.

With a full B&B, the morning was a bit frantic.

He ordered breakfast for 8.30, the next guests at 8.45 and the others hadn’t done their breakfast menu – something that’s going to raise my cortisol levels on a normal day, even when my every move isn’t being scrutinised and documented.

Having finished breakfast, he produced his business card with a flourish and announced he wanted to talk through my report, just as the last guests arrived.

With no other choice, I left him leaning against the only clean spot on my kitchen island, to take the guests’ order – eggs benedict and blueberry pancakes.

My day wasn’t getting any better.

As I rushed round making hollandaise, praying for perfect poached eggs, we got into a ridiculous argument about the room needing a full length mirror.

There is one – it’s behind the robes on the bathroom door.

And me needing to put glass tops on the furniture – not going to happen.

That year, I “scraped” through with a low 5 star gold.

Read Karen’s blog to discover more about country B&Bs, inspections and more about life as a B&B owner:

bandbacademy.co.uk/blog